home and processing.

So, it happened. Today, two months after my travels ended, I finally started to process my fall/winter adventures.

To any of you who actually pay attention to my blog, I apologize for the hiatus. I’ve never been good about keeping up with the interwebz.

I’ve been back home for two months now. I live with my wonderful sister and nieces and work at my family’s restaurant on a lake in Iowa. Since being home, I’ve learned to spin and breathe fire, started picking up new musical instruments and writing songs, have been making attempts at meeting new people and starting new friendships, and I’ve been making that dough for whatever the next adventure may be.

But there’s one thing that hasn’t changed – I still don’t have a single plan, and I’m happiest that way.

Today, I read back over my blog posts, starting with the first one I made in October. It was interesting to see them move and change as I was also doing at the time. In the beginning, I was hopeful to find a path, a destination, a home on the road, something to make me feel validated as a human. I was convinced that I needed to make the journey hard because that’s the only way I could learn from it.

But somewhere in Ecuador, something inside of me switched. Rather than forcing the journey to be what I thought it had to be, it became what it wanted to be. I became comfortable in my own skin and with my own decision-making. I had extreme ups and downs, I made good friends, I bought a last minute plane ticket to Canada, and I learned to love people and the earth again.

I let go of the expectations I’ve always despised.

Since being home, I can feel how that switch has changed me in my everyday life. Happiness comes easier. My brain is at peace with where my life is going even if I don’t know where that is. I’m confident in who I am and grateful for what the world continues to offer me.

So, here’s to summer and whatever may happen afterward. Whatever it is, I feel I’m ready.

Snapshots from home:

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Learning to breathe fire.
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Lime Creek Nature Center. One of my favorite places in these here parts.
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Live, local music on a boat. 
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Oh, and I’ve been living with this sweet iguana. Meet Guapo Avocado Fuego.
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Pilot Knob State Park at sunset.

 

 

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